Why Sharing Is So Important To Building Relationships

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36 questions that lead to loveHave you read Mandy Le Catron’s article in the New York Times titled ‘To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This?” Her research also featured in a TED Talk on the same topic.

Once you get past the intrigue of ‘Can you truly fall in love with someone by asking 36 questions?‘ and ‘Will it last?’ there are two refreshing perspectives which comfort me:

  1. It is the process of sharing that actually transforms the relationship, not so much the questions. Yes, the questions do matter, and that they get deeper and more intimate is important, but it’s the sharing of oneself that fuels the magic to strengthen the relationship; and
  2. No matter the questions, no matter the sharing, it’s the choice (to “be” in love) each person makes (in the beginning, and from that moment forward) that makes the difference.

So, how does this inform my practice as an experiential trainer?

I am abundantly aware – and there is lots of research to prove the notion now – that when I invite people to share, transformation is possible.

But more importantly, just as the graduation of the 36 questions proves, it is absolutely critical that I create an atmosphere conducive to sharing before transformation is possible. And, to my way of thinking, sharing occurs as a natural part of ‘playing.’

Or, put another way:


I wrote this on a whiteboard (forming it into a pyramid) during a training I conducted in China last week to set the tone for what was about to occur over the course of our 4 days together. The more I refer to it, the more it reflects my unique methodology, and embodies those critical ingredients for human development. Or, indeed, love.

What do you think?


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At What Point In Your Life…?

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Face with Map of WorldMy good friend and fellow experiential educator Tom Heck presented a TED Talk recently, and in it, he quoted a colleague of his asking one of the most powerful questions I have heard in recent times:

At what point in your life did you discover that the world needs you?

Pow! I struck me immediately, I had to stop the video, rewind and listen to it again.

Imagine if every classroom was designed and equipped to help students answer this question, before they left school. Imagine if every employee felt empowered to serve their purpose as part of their day to day work.

What a difference this would make.

So. This post beggars the question: When did you discover the world needs you?

For me, it was when I was 20 years of age and attended a 3-day leadership camp with 30 other young people. I was so moved by the experience because I ‘discovered’ who I was and what I was capable of doing.

You can never have enough great questions that invite us (not to mention the groups we work with) to look and think.

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What Is Possible?

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Roger Bannister breaking the four minute mileFor some time now, I have framed the start of many of my programs with an activity I call Rope House.

Not only is it wonderfully engaging and fun, but it really focuses the attention of my group on what they want to get out of the time they spend with me.

Or, put in other words, I want people to consider what is possible?

And then, today, I read one of Seth Godin‘s blog posts in which he states:

… A different part of our brain is activated when we think about what’s possible as opposed to what’s required…

Pow! It hit me. I have always understood this notion of ‘possibility’ as powerful, but I had no idea that it activated a different part of our brain. And that is why it works so well. Rather than just accepting the norm of only paying attention to what is expected of us (ie “Will this be on the test?”), we open our brains to explore what is actually possible?

Roger Bannister asked this question every day before he got out of bed determined to break the four minute mile. If he had just settled for running the fastest mile (what ‘was required’ to pass the test of being a fast runner), he may never have have believed it was possible to go faster than 4 minutes. And not only that, the brains of 7 other people who broke his record of 3:59:40 before the year (1954) was out, may never have been activated to believe it was, in fact, possible to run a mile in under four minutes.

Do you know what the fastest recorded time to run a mile is today? 3:43:13.

I am certain that there are people out there today gunning for the 3 1/2 minute mile. This would have been viewed as impossible 60 years ago. A bit like putting a man on the moon during the 1960s. But not today.

So, what is possible for you and your group today?

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COMING SOON – new Mobile-Friendly playmeo

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Announcing two very exciting events here at playmeo:

1. Coming Soon – Mobile-friendly playmeo

Later in September 2015, we expect to unveil the all new playmeo platform which shall be optimised for mobile devices. Yes, finally, you’ll be able to browse our extensive database of activities on any size screen including smart phone, tablet or computer. Many more new and fabulous functions are planned later in the year, so stay tuned.

2. New Activities Uploaded

If it’s been a while since you dropped into playmeo, now is a good time. In the past week alone, we have added more than 15 new activities, and another 5 are in the pipeline about to be uploaded. Fabulous ice-breakers, terrific team-building initiatives and hilarious energisers and fun games. All yours, in one place.

We’ll be in touch shortly to confirm the launch of the mobile-friendly platform.

Until then, happy browsing…

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New Book: Serious Fun, out now…

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Serious Fun book coverFor a limited time, Amazon is offering my latest book – SERIOUS FUN: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Leading Remarkably Fun Programs That Make A Difference – for only USD$27.95 including shipping anywhere in the world.

>>>> http://www.amazon.com/Serious-Fun-Step—Step-Remarkably/dp/0992546400

Serious Fun is my fourth publication, yet unlike my other three, this book is not an activity book – rather, it describes how I do what I do.

The book has already received many wonderful plaudits from such heavy-hitters as Seth Godin (inspirational thought leader), Karl Rohnke (author of the seminal ‘Silver Bullets’ book) and Andrew Griffiths (Australia’s #1 small business author). Visit the book’s website www.seriousfunbook.com to see what they had to say.

Serious Fun describes the process I take, step by step, to design and deliver remarkably fun programs which make a difference to the lives and performance of the groups I work with.

If you’re a teacher, corporate trainer, youth worker, outdoor educator or campsite operator, this book will help you inject more fun and more value into your programs, while also answering 20 of the most common programming questions you probably ask yourself all the time, such as How do I create a fun, safe and supportive learning environment? and How do I manage difficult behaviours, such as unwilling participants?

Imbued with 27 years of professional experience, this book will describe the exact skills and strategies I use to immediately engage my groups (young and old alike), invite them to interact and help them feel comfortable to participate in my programs.

To SAVE $12.00 off RRP, go to Amazon >>>> http://www.amazon.com/Serious-Fun-Step—Step-Remarkably/dp/0992546400

BUT, HURRY – Amazon’s limited-time offer expires at midnight Thursday 14 May, 2015 (Australian Eastern Standard time).

BONUS: The book comes with 40 Free Program Templates, complete with step-by-step instructions to help you deliver remarkably fun get-to-know-you sessions, conference energisers, fabulous team-building activities, etc. Plus, answers to more than 20 of the most common programming questions people have been asking me for years.

Got a question, or want to know more, go to www.seriousfunbook.com

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